Thursday, December 11, 2014
Merry Faceless Christmas
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Arizona - The "It'll Try to Kill You" State
Sunday, March 18, 2012
"If you had testosterone you would take over the world..."
Sometimes Mr. Evans and I joke about how my wife (Brandon) is more emotional, generous, empathetic, kind, sweet, gentle, understanding, etc, etc, etc (need I go on???) than I am… and how I am confident, strong-willed, driven, aggressive, frank, logical, bold, etc, etc, etc.
He joked with me today about how if God had taken all of my innate characteristics and added testosterone that I would probably attempt to take over the world by force. And... he is probably right.
What is silly about this is that he said this to me while I was bawling hysterically for no reason at all in his arms. That little excess of estrogen tempers me. And, unfortunately, makes me extremely vulnerable under this façade of confidence. I think Brandon loves these moments because they are few and far between, but they allow him to feel like a dude – taking care of his woman.
And take care of me he did – with a half-gratified smile he patted me on the head – told me it was going to be ok – and asked me if I wanted to take a walk to see if it would make me feel better.
It did. It always does.
Disclosure: what prompted me to write this blog is that I just read someone else’s blog who wrote about women being compelled to be stay-at-home moms… and how exceptionally important it is to the author to be at home with her future (not yet existent) children. She truly yearns for that experience.
In my experience some women are born with the mothering gene (my sister for one) and others have absolutely no interest in being a mother at all (my cousin). It is like the spectrum of creative people. Or, people who are scientifically inclined. Or, people who like the color red. Some can, some can't. Some are, some aren't. Some do, some don't.
When I think about motherhood for myself – I don’t have visions of staying at home. I can honestly say that I never have. I do, however, think about parks and parent-teacher conference and musings about the silly things a child says.
But, is that what motherhood is?
Maybe an adapted form... made to be used by other women just like me. And, it includes nannies or daycare or the neighbors.
Heretofore, my body is not making one of those things anyway… but if it did… Is it worrisome that my lack of some of the “female” characteristics leaves me basically apathetic about taking part in the minutia of motherhood?
Well… if it is worrisome… at least my better half is a better half.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Whilst we gallivanted in worlds apart
Today I am sitting with Husband for the first time in 2 months. He has been in Arizona. I have been in Washington. Although we spoke daily on the phone or Skype, it appears we have experienced completely separate worlds.
In Washington: I lived with a family; this included an 18-month-old. Mornings included dodging half eaten food being spat from the child's mouth and a few "mishaps" resulting from confusion as to if anyone was in the bathroom… most of the time someone was in the bathroom… and they were somewhere between becoming naked and getting into/out of the shower.
In Arizona: Husband lived with our family = the pets. His mornings were early out of necessity to beat the heat while walking the dogs.
In Washington: I had everything I could need or want including internet, cable television, friends, work, etc.
In Arizona: Husband had to fashion a television antenna out of a 2x4 and some copper wire. Surprisingly it works very well.
In Washington: It was cold.
In Arizona: It was hot. So hot, in fact, that if you run the kitchen sink for > 30 seconds you will get HOT water… The pipes are above ground and run through the attic of the houses. So, it doesn't matter which knob you turn… hot water will come out.
In Washington: There are monster mosquitoes, squirrels, and an occasional moose.
In Arizona: There are javelinas, coyotes, rattlesnakes, and lizards.
In Washington: You cannot find good Mexican to save your life. LET ALONE good sushi, Indian, or Chinese.
In Arizona: All food is delicious all the time.
In Washington: Craft and Bunko nights were held.
In Arizona: Most nights consisted for homework.
Together in Arizona: So here we are, together at last. Finally allowed to sleep in on a Sunday morning… only to be woken up by the soft, repetitive sound of a convulsing Morning Dove making a celestial departure (Translation: it died. On our back patio… with eyes bugging out of its head and agonal breaths). And, I know a couple things: I love my husband. Formula 1 racing and waffles will always be a part of our weekend mornings. Sometimes I cry out of joy… but this time I didn't cry at all… I just can't stop smiling.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Urgent Care = Incompetent Care?
Thesis:
Urgent care doctors are incompetent and their care is terrifying, angering, and (more importantly) annoying.
Evidence:
- Allergies. I get 'em. I am allergic to Samuel Richardson Adams (parrot). I am allergic to Boston Obama Evans (dog). I am allergic to anything that blooms in Utah between March 27 and July 13 (plants, flowers, trees, grasses). I can usually get away with an allergy pill a day. But, during my peak histamine-release time… I need steroids. I need them in my nose. I need them to modulate the expression of pro-inflammatory mediators by sitting themselves on the DNA of my cells. I know what I want. I went to an urgent care doctor to get it. He informed me that I… 1) need to come back in a couple weeks so he can ensure that they are, indeed, allergies; 2) need to use an allergy pill first… (Hello?!? … knock, knock, knock… did you see the allergy pill that I take every day listed on my check-in questionnaire?); and 3) this is not his "area of expertise"… So, I will need to see my primary care provider. FINE! Off to student health I went. You know, he was right, after 4 years of medical school and 3 years of residency… he definitely wasn't qualified as the NURSE at student health to write a prescription for an allergy medication. = Why can't I just write my own prescriptions?
- Outrageous stomach pain and "clogged pipes" for 9 days – even though I am typically a 1-2 times-a-day-er. I visit an urgent care doctor who takes an x-ray (no ultra sound, no CT, nothing to potentially detect the real problem – even though this clinic has the capability) and tells me that it is gas and I am constipated… He prescribed a bowel prep medication (magnesium citrate, for those who are interested– 2 bottles!! Note: one half of a bottle of magnesium citrate = 10x the laxative power seen on the movie "Dumb and Dumber"). Result? Nothing. Not even a toot. Called the urgent care doc back… he didn't see a problem. Allowed me to continue for DAYS without getting it out of me. Fun fact… I wasn't really "constipated" I had a soft-ball-sized Bertha hindering my abilities to… um… go. Oh! And, he gave me a pregnancy test even though I repeatedly told him that I had not yet "partaken of the forbidden fruit"… so to speak. It cost $90 for that one thing. I had no insurance. I paid cash. = Why can't I just order my own radiology images? Why can't I write my own prescriptions? Why is it so unbelievable that I would KNOW that I was not pregnant?
- Cough and blue finger tips and fever and sputum production at its finest. I went to an urgent care clinic. They prescribed me the right antibiotic BUT it was at ½ the dose necessary for my supposed "community acquired infection" and only gave me 3 days worth… I think he got confused. Maybe he was trying to treat a urinary tract infection? = What can't I just write my own prescriptions?
- (Most recently) Bilateral ear infection and "worst sinus infection [he'd] seen in years." So, what did he prescribe? … Oh! He didn't. He said, and I quote, "What do you think I should prescribe?" Me: "What are my choices?" He: "I don't know. Anything you'd like. And, how much would you do?" Me: "I don't know. I don't treat sinus infections on a regular basis. Isn't this your job?" He: "Yeah. I just thought you'd know. Maybe we could do (drug and dose)." Me: "Sure. That sounds ok." He: "How long do you think you should take it." Me…(pregnant pause)… (another pregnant pause). He: "I will just give you 14 days worth. You can take as much as you want." = Sure! How ironic! When I finally get the opportunity to write my own prescriptions, I don't even know what to do.
Conclusion:
Urgent care doctors have managed to misdiagnose and mistreat and miss the point of their job during each of my encounters with them. In spite of fiscal responsibility for our health care system, I would recommend going to an emergency room every time. Urgent care doctors are presumably worthless. Further, I would recommend asking your pharmacist their opinion before you accept and take any prescription written by one if you have the misfortune of their "help." I am literally afraid for the people who don't know what questions to ask and don't realize when what's done is wrong.
NEWS FLASH: Doctors fix severe blockage
I have been told "If you have two good reasons to do something... then you'll do it."
Insert "two requests to blog again" here.
I have writers block, though. As a general rule, I can only blog when I am:
- Emotional – the "cry about ridiculous things" kind (typically in response to fluctuating hormones)
- Angry
- Annoyed
So, sort of like memories, blogs only take hold when strong emotions are involved. PROBLEM ALERT: I have been on birth control for the last 5 months and it inhibits my ability to respond emotionally in an irrational way. Trust me; I am just as disappointed as you are.
As for anger, there are really only a few things that actually make me angry. Instead, I would say that annoyance is definitely my predominant emotion. But, in order to blog about it, I need to feel that someone is idiotic AND I have to have the freedom to speak openly about the person (ie. they cannot read this blog or know anyone who would). All of this is a recipe for constipated writing.
There have been ample opportunities for me to vent my frustration, however. Like, just recently (person who cannot be named) did (something that I cannot say). So, I (responded by doing something). Which lead to (an outcome full of humor for me, but perhaps not for the other person) = seriously bad blogging.
Update on current events in the life of Megan to help cultivate discussion:
- Pyramid schemes and Cutco knives plague the existence of Latterday Saint wards all across the country.
- Spokane still doesn't plow their roads after snow storms.
- I have a bet with my sister about (person) and (self-modifying behavior).
- Sometimes when I think about Husband moving to Tucson, I act like a total jerk to him so that he won't miss me while he's gone.
- I have been watching too much TV. I average about 3.5 hours of "How I Met Your Mother" between the three stations that play re-runs and my DVR per day… among other shows.
- It has been confirmed that all Urgent care doctors are idiots…
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WAIT! Idiots! Urgent care doctor? Yes! I don't personally know any of those. … FINALLY!!! Please see the next blog entry for information regarding Urgent Care doctors.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Damned beer drinkers
Pop quiz: what is the doctrinal reason for Mormons not drinking alcohol?
- They believe they will be damned if they drink alcohol.
- They don't like the taste.
- They have been brainwashed into believing that the act of alcohol drinking is evil and that even a single, accidental sip of the vial liquid will destroy their soul.
- They don't actually know why – they just don't do it for fear of not getting a temple recommend or being excommunicated from the church.
- They believe in the promise of the Word of Wisdom which states that if they don't drink it (among other things) they will be healthy, and have energy and a clear mind that is able to gain wisdom.
- All of the above.
If the question were "Why don't Mormons drink alcohol?"… then the answer would probably be "6. all of the above." But, the doctrinal answer is 5.
It is not really about good vs. bad, it is not really about holy vs. evil, it is not really about heaven vs. hell. It is about health. The specific scripture says – eat fruits and vegetables, eat whole grains, limit meat intake, exercise, and avoid coffee, tea, alcohol, tobacco and other drugs. There really isn't any voodoo or even dictatorship from Deity. It is a "word of wisdom" about how to care for our bodies and mind. And, most health nuts and/or health care providers would agree that this a recipe for food consumption success.
Why the pop quiz? While at work yesterday a pharmacy technician went on a rant about how "God doesn't care if you drink alcohol or not" and "when I die I refuse to believe that God will ask me if I drank alcohol, and if I say 'yes' he will sent me straight to hell." After several minutes of eavesdropping I found out he was talking about the darned Mormons.
This is funny because he inappropriately characterized the doctrine of the Plan of Salvation, our understanding of heaven and hell, and then argued that the whole religion was ludicrous based on this "commandment" alone.
To this man I say, you are right – God will not damn you for drinking alcohol; in fact, he will be unlikely to "damn" you for most of your silly decisions, but that doesn't mean that we shouldn't respect our bodies and strive to be better each day. Secondly, God will not ask you if you drank alcohol or not. He knows. He will judge you on all of your decisions, how you loved/served your fellow man, and whether or not you lived up to your potential and individual responsibility (based on your understanding and circumstances).
For the purposes of foreshadowing my core beliefs, the judgments of God are relative but not permissive. Therefore, the mere act of alcohol consumption will not damn you.
But wouldn't it be a good idea to not drink it anyway?
Yes. The answer is yes.
In terms of a risk/benefit analysis, the risks include, but are not limited to: disinhibition with resultant poor decisions/ lack of judgment, addiction potential with resultant poor decisions/self (and family) destructive behavior, liver failure with varices, ascites, jaundice, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, and death. Do these happen to everyone… no. But, why risk it?
You risk it because the benefits outweigh the risks.
So, the benefits include…? Feeling relaxed in social situations? … hum… anything else?
Now. Here's my question… Why is alcohol so important? SERIOUSLY! What is so precious about alcohol that it sends people into a tailspin when they hear that a group of people CHOOSES not to drink it? Why are people so compelled by it that they rant and rave at the very thought that a religion would counsel against its use? As far as I am concerned, even outside of religion, it would be wise to avoid it.
Attention "alcohol drinkers of my blogging community" I ask you … What makes alcohol so important?
11/24 @ 8:51 am: Wednesday burst of inspiration - Looks like they are the ones drinking the Kool-Aid...