Like sands in the hourglass... these are the babies of our lives

I have encountered many types of babies in the last few weeks, and I would like to tell you about them...

I met a:

Blue baby
I am on rotation on the Newborn ICU this month (and a half). We just had a baby born that was blue. Really blue. Ok. Maybe slightly purple. Not breathing. Not moving. Mom was crying/screaming in pain. And, baby was still blue. The NICU nurses went to work - on this little tiny person: suction, pump air, suction, roll over and pat, suction, pump air, pump air again. Then, like a chameleon, she turned pink/red and let out the most pathetic sound. For one split moment the room was silent... then mom said, "is that her?" and I cried. She's doing great. She's beautiful with a big head of hair. Things I learned right after this moment...
A) It hurts more to deliver the placenta than the baby (gross) and B) I never want a blue baby. But if I ever get one, I hope it makes pathetic sounds.

Hairy baby
Turns out that premature babies are hairy. Not just a little hairy either. They have 0.5" blonde (and sometimes black) hair all over their bodies.And, if they are young enough their eyes are still sealed shut (like puppies). This is just an interesting fact. There is no story. But, if you have a preemie... don't be alarmed when it's hairy. But, I would recommend being alarmed if... A) their bowels are on the outside of their body or B) they have a cleft palate or C) the doctors are alarmed.

Blood-filled-cyst baby
As many of you know, I am having another Bertha AND a Stephen. One of you has asked what exactly it is like... so, here is my explanation:
A) They hurt. Sometimes it is a throbbing pain, sometimes it is a cramping pain, and sometimes it feels like the incredible hulk reaching inside my lower abdomen, grabbed a fist of whatever he could get his hands on, and then gave it an indian rug burn. My pain rating scales for the last 24 hours are as follows: 1/10, 3/10, 8/10, 8/10, 8/10, 4/10, 1/10.
B) They look bad. Yes, it is true, Stephen (on the left) is twice the size of Bertha (on the right). If you ever have the pleasure of looking down my anterior side (from my perspective), you will literally see that the left side protrudes more than the right. And my pants are tightish (on top of being slightly obese).
C) They are routinely called "that bitch" and "that bastard." This is probably inappropriate, and it definitely alarmed my doctor when I shook my fist at them and called them these names during my last ultrasound.


Babies without names
Emily is 33 weeks pregnant. With two! Two! TWO! babies. She just sent updated pictures of her big, fat belly. Geez, I cannot wait to meet these babies. Her inability to settle on acceptable names has led Husband and I to come up with a list of our own. Now, in the advent that I procreate, I expect that none of you use these names without my permission... because I would prefer that they were saved for me.

Ready, set, go:
Girls
1. Margot
2. Sylvie
3. Charlotte
4. Maris
5. Adelaide
6. Nora
7. Adele

Boys
1. Simon
2. Roarke
3. Finn
4. Miles
5. Pierce
6. Redd
7. Hans

... oh, and Husband and I (might) actually make one of those. Especially because it is doctor recommended*... Husband approved** -- Details will be withheld for the sake and sanity of others. We have planned our strategy, rehearsed our tactics, and plan to implement sometime next summer.

*It will reduce the severity and recurrence of Berthas. However, it may not be possible.
**He agreed once. Retracted. Reconsidered. Might agree again.