Whilst we gallivanted in worlds apart

Today I am sitting with Husband for the first time in 2 months. He has been in Arizona. I have been in Washington. Although we spoke daily on the phone or Skype, it appears we have experienced completely separate worlds.

In Washington: I lived with a family; this included an 18-month-old. Mornings included dodging half eaten food being spat from the child's mouth and a few "mishaps" resulting from confusion as to if anyone was in the bathroom… most of the time someone was in the bathroom… and they were somewhere between becoming naked and getting into/out of the shower.

In Arizona: Husband lived with our family = the pets. His mornings were early out of necessity to beat the heat while walking the dogs.

In Washington: I had everything I could need or want including internet, cable television, friends, work, etc.

In Arizona: Husband had to fashion a television antenna out of a 2x4 and some copper wire. Surprisingly it works very well.

In Washington: It was cold.

In Arizona: It was hot. So hot, in fact, that if you run the kitchen sink for > 30 seconds you will get HOT water… The pipes are above ground and run through the attic of the houses. So, it doesn't matter which knob you turn… hot water will come out.

In Washington: There are monster mosquitoes, squirrels, and an occasional moose.

In Arizona: There are javelinas, coyotes, rattlesnakes, and lizards.

In Washington: You cannot find good Mexican to save your life. LET ALONE good sushi, Indian, or Chinese.

In Arizona: All food is delicious all the time.

In Washington: Craft and Bunko nights were held.

In Arizona: Most nights consisted for homework.

Together in Arizona: So here we are, together at last. Finally allowed to sleep in on a Sunday morning… only to be woken up by the soft, repetitive sound of a convulsing Morning Dove making a celestial departure (Translation: it died. On our back patio… with eyes bugging out of its head and agonal breaths). And, I know a couple things: I love my husband. Formula 1 racing and waffles will always be a part of our weekend mornings. Sometimes I cry out of joy… but this time I didn't cry at all… I just can't stop smiling.

Urgent Care = Incompetent Care?

Thesis:

Urgent care doctors are incompetent and their care is terrifying, angering, and (more importantly) annoying.

Evidence:

1. Allergies. I get 'em. I am allergic to Samuel Richardson Adams (parrot). I am allergic to Boston Obama Evans (dog). I am allergic to anything that blooms in Utah between March 27 and July 13 (plants, flowers, trees, grasses). I can usually get away with an allergy pill a day. But, during my peak histamine-release time… I need steroids. I need them in my nose. I need them to modulate the expression of pro-inflammatory mediators by sitting themselves on the DNA of my cells. I know what I want. I went to an urgent care doctor to get it. He informed me that I… 1) need to come back in a couple weeks so he can ensure that they are, indeed, allergies; 2) need to use an allergy pill first… (Hello?!? … knock, knock, knock… did you see the allergy pill that I take every day listed on my check-in questionnaire?); and 3) this is not his "area of expertise"… So, I will need to see my primary care provider. FINE! Off to student health I went. You know, he was right, after 4 years of medical school and 3 years of residency… he definitely wasn't qualified as the NURSE at student health to write a prescription for an allergy medication. = Why can't I just write my own prescriptions?
   
2. Outrageous stomach pain and "clogged pipes" for 9 days – even though I am typically a 1-2 times-a-day-er. I visit an urgent care doctor who takes an x-ray (no ultra sound, no CT, nothing to potentially detect the real problem – even though this clinic has the capability) and tells me that it is gas and I am constipated… He prescribed a bowel prep medication (magnesium citrate, for those who are interested– 2 bottles!! Note: one half of a bottle of magnesium citrate = 10x the laxative power seen on the movie "Dumb and Dumber"). Result? Nothing. Not even a toot. Called the urgent care doc back… he didn't see a problem. Allowed me to continue for DAYS without getting it out of me. Fun fact… I wasn't really "constipated" I had a soft-ball-sized Bertha hindering my abilities to… um… go. Oh! And, he gave me a pregnancy test even though I repeatedly told him that I had not yet "partaken of the forbidden fruit"… so to speak. It cost $90 for that one thing. I had no insurance. I paid cash. = Why can't I just order my own radiology images? Why can't I write my own prescriptions? Why is it so unbelievable that I would KNOW that I was not pregnant?
   
3. Cough and blue finger tips and fever and sputum production at its finest. I went to an urgent care clinic. They prescribed me the right antibiotic BUT it was at ½ the dose necessary for my supposed "community acquired infection" and only gave me 3 days worth… I think he got confused. Maybe he was trying to treat a urinary tract infection? = What can't I just write my own prescriptions?
   
4. (Most recently) Bilateral ear infection and "worst sinus infection [he'd] seen in years." So, what did he prescribe? … Oh! He didn't. He said, and I quote, "What do you think I should prescribe?" Me: "What are my choices?" He: "I don't know. Anything you'd like. And, how much would you do?" Me: "I don't know. I don't treat sinus infections on a regular basis. Isn't this your job?" He: "Yeah. I just thought you'd know. Maybe we could do (drug and dose)." Me: "Sure. That sounds ok." He: "How long do you think you should take it." Me…(pregnant pause)… (another pregnant pause). He: "I will just give you 14 days worth. You can take as much as you want." = Sure! How ironic! When I finally get the opportunity to write my own prescriptions, I don't even know what to do.
   

Conclusion:

Urgent care doctors have managed to misdiagnose and mistreat and miss the point of their job during each of my encounters with them. In spite of fiscal responsibility for our health care system, I would recommend going to an emergency room every time. Urgent care doctors are presumably worthless. Further, I would recommend asking your pharmacist their opinion before you accept and take any prescription written by one if you have the misfortune of their "help." I am literally afraid for the people who don't know what questions to ask and don't realize when what's done is wrong.

NEWS FLASH: Doctors fix severe blockage

I have been told "If you have two good reasons to do something... then you'll do it."

Insert "two requests to blog again" here.

 

I have writers block, though. As a general rule, I can only blog when I am:

1. Emotional – the "cry about ridiculous things" kind (typically in response to fluctuating hormones)
   
2. Angry
   
3. Annoyed
   

 

So, sort of like memories, blogs only take hold when strong emotions are involved. PROBLEM ALERT: I have been on birth control for the last 5 months and it inhibits my ability to respond emotionally in an irrational way. Trust me; I am just as disappointed as you are.

 

As for anger, there are really only a few things that actually make me angry. Instead, I would say that annoyance is definitely my predominant emotion. But, in order to blog about it, I need to feel that someone is idiotic AND I have to have the freedom to speak openly about the person (ie. they cannot read this blog or know anyone who would). All of this is a recipe for constipated writing.

 

There have been ample opportunities for me to vent my frustration, however. Like, just recently (person who cannot be named) did (something that I cannot say). So, I (responded by doing something). Which lead to (an outcome full of humor for me, but perhaps not for the other person) = seriously bad blogging.

 

Update on current events in the life of Megan to help cultivate discussion:

1. Pyramid schemes and Cutco knives plague the existence of Latterday Saint wards all across the country.
   
2. Spokane still doesn't plow their roads after snow storms.
   
3. I have a bet with my sister about (person) and (self-modifying behavior).
   
4. Sometimes when I think about Husband moving to Tucson, I act like a total jerk to him so that he won't miss me while he's gone.
   
5. I have been watching too much TV. I average about 3.5 hours of "How I Met Your Mother" between the three stations that play re-runs and my DVR per day… among other shows.
   
6. It has been confirmed that all Urgent care doctors are idiots…
   

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WAIT! Idiots! Urgent care doctor? Yes! I don't personally know any of those. … FINALLY!!! Please see the next blog entry for information regarding Urgent Care doctors.